Speaking of the difference between the two, I think generally speaking, in a healing relationship, one accepts and supports the other to live out a more authentic self, and naturally, there is no desire for the other to change. In a karmic relationship, the two tend to be reluctant to accept the truth of the other, and both parties have the drive to expect the other to change.
- Karmic relationship
By karmic relationships, I mean those in which both parties have known each other over many lifetimes and have experienced profound emotional relationships.
Such a karmic relationship is marked by unresolved emotions such as guilt, fear, dependence, jealousy, anger, or other emotions on both sides of the relationship. They will be attracted to each other in another life because of this unreleased emotional energy.
The old scene needs to be confronted again so that this time it can be handled more consciously. The spiritual purpose of this re-encounter is to allow both parties to make choices that are different from the previous life.
In a karmic reunion, you will find that person immediately feels a very strange familiarity with you. Generally speaking, there is a mutual attraction, strong energy in the air that draws and pushes you together, allowing you to discover each other. If the opportunity arises, this strong attraction could become a romantic relationship or a deep infatuation. The emotions you experience are so intense that you think you have met your Twin Soul.
But things are not what they seem. In such a relationship, problems will surface sooner or later. Often both partners are involved in a psychological conflict in which sovereignty, control, and dependence are the main components. In this way, they are subconsciously repeating the tragedy of a previous life. In past lives, they may have been lovers, parents, children, bosses, and subordinates, or in other relationships. But they'll always touch on deep wounds in both parties -- through betrayal, abuse of power, or excessive feelings. There will be a very deep connection between them, with deep emotional trauma. That's why the forces of attraction and repulsion between them are so intense when they meet in this life.
The most spiritual invitation to all souls whose energies are entangled in such a relationship is to let go of each other and allow both to be "self-complete individuals" - free and independent.
Almost none of the karmic relationships mentioned here can be long-term, stable, and satisfying. They are destructive rather than healing relationships. Often the most fundamental purpose of these encounters is to successfully let go of each other. This has not been accomplished in a lifetime or lifetimes, but now is another chance for you to let go of each other in love.
If you find yourself in a relationship where you have strong emotions and a lot of pain and grief, but you can't break free, be aware that you are not obligated to stay in the relationship.
You also need to be aware that strong emotions are most often associated with deep hurt -- not the love that flows through each other.
The energy of love has a very peaceful, relaxing, and inspiring quality. It's not heavy, exhausting, and tragic. If a relationship starts to show these signs, it's time to let it go instead of working on it.
Sometimes you convince yourself that we have to be together because we have the same karma and we have to get things done together. You borrowed karma to prolong the relationship, even though both parties suffered from it. You are distorting the concept of karma here.
You can't handle karma together, because karma is a personal thing. Karma like the one we mentioned at the beginning often requires you to let go completely and completely, and you can experience your wholeness as an individual only when you are completely freed from this karmic relationship.
I repeat the release of karma is your own business. Another person may touch or trigger something inside of you, creating a lot of drama between you, but dealing with the pain inside is still your task and challenge, not that of people. You are solely responsible for yourself.
This is an important point to be aware of, as it is a major pitfall in relationships. You are not responsible for your partner, and he/she is not responsible for you. The solution to your problem doesn't lie in how other people do it.
Sometimes you connect so deeply with your partner's inner child that you think you're the one who's going to "save" it, or that your partner will do the same to you. But this doesn't work. You will aggravate the feelings of the other person's powerless and weak victim, but in the end, it will help if you draw the line and be yourself.
Your purpose in life is to feel whole and complete in yourself. That is the most important condition in a full relationship.
- The healing relationship
A characteristic of a healing relationship is that both parties respect each other for who they are, without the will to change the other. They are happy when the other person is around. But if the other person isn't there, they don't feel uncomfortable, hopeless, or alone.
In this relationship, you give each other understanding, support, and encouragement, but you don't try to solve each other's problems. There is freedom and peace in relationships. Misunderstandings do happen occasionally, of course, but those emotions are short-lived, and both parties in the relationship are ready to forgive.
Because it doesn't disturb their deep inner pain, they don't value it.
In a healing relationship, it is also possible for both parties to have known each other in previous lives or lives. In this case, though, they don't have an emotional karmic burden as described above. The two souls interacted in a previous life in a way that encouraged and supported each other. As friends, partners, or parents and children, they know each other as their soulmates.
Of course, there is a relationship in this world called twin souls.
Regarding karmic relationships, I once firmly believed that the so-called karmic partners and soul mates probably have no boundaries. In other words, I have always believed that karmic mates can be transformed into soul mates because love can resolve all contradictions and entanglements. It was not until I read this passage of Joshua that I realized that this kind of thinking is very limited, or, in other words, too persistent.
Reminds me of reading Eckhart's books before, and someone asked what if I started to grow spiritually and my partner didn't. Eckhart's answer was presumably that nothing was going to change. Either he will change himself, and you will be more deeply together in love. Either he is unwilling to change, and you will naturally separate in love.
The so-called love and freedom.
Love, freedom, and neither can be lacking, and freedom is the foundation of true love. If you understand the true meaning of freedom, sometimes, letting go is not just love. True separation can only be based on love, peace, and trust. And based on any kind of negative emotion, it is not letting go at all, and it is impossible to let go. That's because the homework hasn't been done yet.
