"I know someone you might like." Many single people have already heard this sentence, pronounced by one of their friends or a member of their family. The more adventurous may have taken the plunge and accepted an arranged date. This is called a "blind date", literally "blind date".
After being put in touch through one of their relatives, potential partners meet without having ever exchanged before. If this mode of the meeting is very common in England and the United States, where the universe of dating is particularly codified, it is a little less common in France. In the age of social networks and dating applications, the blind date may also seem outdated, but it has at least one advantage: being put in contact with a loved one is a pledge of trust.
How to have a successful first blind date? Love coach Florence Escaravage gives her advice.
Trust your matchmaker to succeed on your blind date
On dating sites and applications, it is not uncommon to choose your interlocutors according to their photo, then to chat for a long time without seeing each other. The concept of the blind date is quite different since the objective is to meet someone with whom you have never exchanged.
The idea is therefore to trust your matchmaker, usually a friend or family member who knows you well. No question of asking for a detailed CV of the person you are about to meet, nor of asking for photos of her, because these elements could give us a priori. A brief presentation is enough because, for a successful blind date, you have to let yourself go!
To succeed in letting go, it should be borne in mind that this meeting does not involve any stakes: if the chemistry is not there, you can always remain good friends!
Blind date: do not focus on commonalities
To put you in touch with one of his acquaintances, your matchmaker generally bases himself on the common points that you share with this one, whether it is a passion for tennis or a vacation destination. favorite.
If these elements can be a good introduction during the blind date and be useful to start the conversation, it is advisable to break away from them to really get to know the person opposite. And for good reason: these commonalities lead one to believe that they are essential in a romantic relationship, whereas they do not guarantee an emotional connection.
First date: the importance of being surprised
This emotional connection is the key point of a romantic relationship. And to achieve this, you have to let yourself be surprised. Exit the endless list of criteria describing the ideal person in your eyes: this tends to divert us from the essential. In question? When a person does not meet these criteria, it is not uncommon to miss them when they could have been suitable for us. On the other hand, it is possible to mistakenly rush into a relationship with someone who meets our expectations on paper, forgetting to check other criteria that are nevertheless fundamental, such as their communication skills for example.
For a successful blind date, it is therefore essential to solicit your openness and reception skills. It's the only way to stop being in control, to make the other person feel confident and show themselves as they really are.
Blind date: getting intimate
On a first date, and more particularly on a blind date, it is sometimes difficult to break the ice. But to really get to know the person opposite, it is nevertheless important to get intimate quickly.
After the traditional exchange of small talk and the introduction stage, it's time to focus the discussion on deeper topics. To do this, it is necessary to ask questions about what animates the person opposite. You can thus take an interest in his projects, but also in his past, by asking him about what built him and what made him vulnerable. Examples: "What are the ordeals from which you have grown up?", "what dream do you wish to have realized in 5 years?", or even "what have you not yet accomplished and which could make you proud of yourself?".
The goal? Look for the light of this potential partner in his sensitivity. The emotion felt can then be the trigger for a possible romantic feeling. Be careful, however, not to be too intrusive and not to turn this discussion into an interrogation! The objective is simply to put the other in confidence through a deep and balanced exchange.
Get rid of doubt to make a success of your blind date
At the end of the first meeting, take stock: if you have doubts, it may be that one of the two potential partners did not feel confident enough to reveal themselves. Do not hesitate to propose a second appointment.
If your doubts are due to mixed feelings or intuition, remember to listen to yourself. If you have noticed in the person opposite a certain form of rigidity in communication, plans to change you, or even an inaptitude for commitment, this may be a sign that he is not ready to build a relationship.
